(ノ °益°)ノ︵ (\ .o.)\

I’m really trying for this test. I’ve been looking at notes, watching videos, and trying...

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:53:13 -0400

I’m really trying for this test. I’ve been looking at notes, watching videos, and trying to study for almost all of today (besides class, eating, and a nap I accidentally extended a little too long). I haven’t even played any games today.

But I’m still so confused. I still don’t understand everything and unless God decides to suddenly grant me knowledge, I’m not going to know everything for this test.

You’d think I learn. You would, wouldn’t you?

I hope my friends will tell me if I’m ever complaining about something that was completely my...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 00:58:00 -0400

I hope my friends will tell me if I’m ever complaining about something that was completely my fault (if I didn’t know it).

I do this a lot, but I think I usually know when I’m doing it.

If I don’t realize it, please tell me T_T and if you’re not sure if I know it or not, just tell me anyways. Worst case scenario is that I’ll say “I know T_T”

Though I think I’ve gotten a lot better at not playing the “blame game”. Ironically, I think I grew a lot in this from playing video games…WUT IS LIFE

Ok now that I think about it, I shouldn’t complain ever (shouldn’t being the key word but still that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try) so feel free to rebuke me if I complain. About anything. Ever. T_T

Somehow, we’ve shifted from “caring too much about what people think about us” to...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 12:26:00 -0400

Somehow, we’ve shifted from “caring too much about what people think about us” to “not caring at all about what people think about us”. And honestly, I am ridiculously terrified of the latter attitude because if people don’t care about what others think, society and all it’s conventions will go straight out the window, people will start doing what they want, and the world will DESCEND INTO DARKNESS ooOOOoo. ~~Oh wait, isn’t that happening already?~~ I also really want to post about this on my other blog but I’m scared that people will hate me (because I will be indirectly referring to people who follow me because some of them post ~~some really dumb~~ quotes about not caring about what people think.

But maybe I shouldn’t care about what they think and post it anyways HUEHUEHUE

No but seriously I don’t know what to do T_T I think it’s something that really needs to be addressed, but I’m not quite sure if I would be the best person to post about it…should I post or not? T_T

I wish there was a way for me to let everyone know that I was in a bad mood and that they...

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 18:58:00 -0400

I wish there was a way for me to let everyone know that I was in a bad mood and that they shouldn’t talk to me (besides ignoring them or being really rude or having to tell everyone that contacts me that I’m in a bad mood). Sort of like an away status…except I could put it up everywhere. So like when people tried to text me, they’d see this little message that’s like, “Jon’s in a bad mood right now and doesn’t want to talk to anyone kthxbye”

Trying.

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 03:36:00 -0400

What happens a lot is that people say they’re bad at something without even trying at it. Especially school. Everyone says they suck at this subject or that subject, but they don’t study. They don’t do the work. They try to scrape by, and then complain/whine about how miserable their life is because their grades are bad.

I wonder why. (However, I do realize some people do actually try and just can’t seem to get it no matter what they do).

I realize I have done/still do this too. But I actually try and limit it to things that I have actually tried. Badminton? Played for 10+ years. Tennis? Played for 2+ years. French Horn? Played for 7 years. Piano? Played for 5 years. Music in general? Almost 14 years of my life. Games? Might as well be 5ever. Despite how whiny I am, I really have tried to stick with things. And I still haven’t found where my talents are yet.

That’s why nowadays, I don’t really say my classes are hard. Because honestly, if I really tried, they wouldn’t be that hard. Sure, they’re tedious and time consuming…but hard? Naw, not really. I haven’t gotten to the “hard” stuff yet. But I find my current classes hard simply because I don’t try.

Oops, somehow this came back to me. Back to my original point.

I wish people would stop complaining about things that they could change.

I wish I would stop complaining about things that I could change.

I wish for a lot of things.

on a random sidenote, some of you might be wondering why I’ve been posting on this blog so much lately (and if you’re not, that’s fine. move on :3) and it’s because I realize a lot of this stuff is like, angsty, immature, adolescent stuff. and because it’s talking about certain people who follow my other blog so whooopsie

I felt really lonely tonight. Scrolling down my friends list and realizing that all of the people I...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 02:06:00 -0400

I felt really lonely tonight. Scrolling down my friends list and realizing that all of the people I normally talk to (which isn’t any) weren’t on made me a little sad. Then one of my friends logged on and started telling me about what a bad day he had.

I’M SORRY I’LL NEVER FEEL LONELY AGAIN UGH T-T

Hi guys, I'm an adolescent for today.

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:03:00 -0400

My friend is stressing over a test.

She says if she fails it, she’ll feel really stupid.

She hasn’t been to class in over a week.

What am I supposed to think? I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to approach this situation from a Christlike perspective. She’s not stupid (at least, in terms of book smartness), and I know she could do well if she studied more/went to class and actually tried. Instead, she goes out to hang out with friends the night before the test and decides to sleep and study the morning of the test. I can’t help but think that if she fails this test, she’ll really have no one to blame but herself. She didn’t do very well on the first test, and has been “stressing out” about this second one for a while now. But she doesn’t go to class. She goes out to play with friends.

What am I supposed to think? Honestly, it’s pretty annoying for me to listen to her complain about how she’s going to fail and how stupid she is, yet she doesn’t try. I actually have a lot of friends like this, and I used to be like this too. But man, I didn’t really realize just how annoying it was. Honestly, I was in the exact same position last semester. Maybe it takes a fall for them to learn.

Some of you might know who I’m talking about, but she’s not the only one. A lot of people do this and it’s really frustrating and I’m not quite sure how to handle it besides grabbing a megaphone and yelling “SHUT UP AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER”.

I don’t know how to handle these situations. It kind of sucks that I know exactly how they feel, but I don’t really know how to help them. So I just tell them “Good luck” with a fake smile on my face. And then I return to my cave to fume some more because people are STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID. Sometimes.

rant

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 21:02:00 -0400

ok so this is probably going to sound judgemental

maybe because it sort of is

but these posts…THESE POSTS

“how others see you is not important…how you see yourself means everything”

PLEASE

THAT IS A VILLIAN’S MOTTO

SERIAL KILLER? NO, I’M JUST PUTTING THEM OUT OF THEIR MISERY. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.

some people would probably say i’m “overthinking” things. or maybe taking things too literally. but this seems to happen a lot. I know what the author of the quote is trying to say (something along the lines of “don’t let other people define who you are”), but this quote is just TOO EXTREME. THINK ABOUT QUOTES BEFORE YOU REBLOG PLS.

PLS

or maybe i’m just in a bad mood idk

ok back to studying T_T

random note:I dislike people who are moody/can’t control their emotions. i.e., ME.

I'm not noble enough to say that I truly love everyone.

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:28:00 -0400

Love for all sounds great and everything…but I don’t think I could honestly say I love everyone all the time, though I wish I could.

Love for all? Equality for all? Tell that to your human nature and see how that goes.

Sigh. This is why I (we) need Jesus.

vent vent vent vent

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 02:25:00 -0400

rantrantrantrant

i’m way too tired/lazy to actually type out what i want to rant about

so im just gonna get it out of my system

rantrantrantrant

grr im so angry

angry jon

rawr

just kidding guys i’m actually more depressed than i am angry (i think)

so maybe it’s like crai crai crai

sad jon

crai

It might be worth it to note...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 00:54:40 -0400

My last two posts are not implying that unattractive girls will like me either.

Because they never will :(

Craiface

ok Im done now bye

Pretty girls also make me sad.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 22:30:00 -0400

Because they’ll never like me :(

Craiface

Oh well, I’ll still have my computer :’(

Until it dies :’( then I’ll have to get a new one :’(

Cute girls make me sad.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:54:00 -0400

Because they’ll never like me :(

Craiface

lol i googled craiface and it came up with (ç_ç) on a reddit post

I wish I could express my advice in a more elaborate way than “grow up”

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 23:53:17 -0500

I wish I could express my advice in a more elaborate way than “grow up”

I think I really pity myself sometimes.

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 22:04:00 -0500

I got to catch up with a good friend that I haven’t seen much of this semester because we’re in different classes now and I’ve been spending most of my time in my room.

It was really good to see him and be able to eat with him, but…as I left, I just felt really sad. Part of me doesn’t miss hanging out in the study lounge and actually interacting with people. And part of me feels like I’m a pathetic excuse for a human being because I just…don’t care. I don’t do anything. I’m just…existing, and it’s so pitiful. It’s such a fall from what we were made to do.

I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for, but it’s hard for me to focus because I’m just so…I dunno. I just felt really sorry for myself today. Maybe it’ll go away.

And maybe it won’t.

Have you ever gotten to the place where you don't allow yourself to be happy?

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 02:06:00 -0500

It’s a really strange place, where everything is twisted and distorted. It’s like being lost in a maze, not knowing which way is up and which way is down…not knowing what to think or what to believe. Just…lost. Is my perception of reality accurate with what reality really is? Are things as bad as I think they are? How do I know if I’m exaggerating things and/or undervaluing other things?

On another side note (too lazy to make a separate post), I’ve found myself becoming a lot more selfish lately. I think that after coming to college, I’ve let people convince me that doing things for myself is actually ok, and that sometimes it’s fine to do what I want for a change. Which is probably true…except for the fact that I always take things out of proportion, which has led to me becoming more and more selfish with my time, energy, stuff, etc…ugh why do I ever let people convince me of things T_T TOO MANY SLIPPERY SLOPES FOR ME

Pendulum.

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:15:00 -0500

I’m always swinging back and forth between things.

This is especially true when it comes to my interactions with people. Sometimes, I spent tons and tons of time hanging out with people or just going out and doing things. For example, during my entire senior year of high school, I was literally out of the house and hanging out with people till like at least 9-10pm almost everyday, either playing tennis or going out to eat or hanging at someone’s house. And it’s great and amazing and fun…for a while. But somewhere along the way, I get tired of it. And when I finally settle down and spend some time alone…I think, “Oh my goodness, why did I ever want to spend time with other people ugh Jon you’re so stupid because this is so much better and so much more enjoyable” and I spend a bunch of time alone enjoying the things that I couldn’t do before because I was so busy with other people and part of me is telling me that other people are more important and that friendship is great but it’s just not there and the video games and tv shows are just so much better…in that moment. But then I force myself to leave my room, I force myself to get out, and I think, “Wow, that was a lot of fun. Maybe people really are worth my time and energy” and the cycle starts again. But I’ve noticed that each time I go through, the sessions of alone time get longer. And longer. And longer.

This is so hard.

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 16:23:21 -0500

I didn’t think it’d be this hard.

Repeating a class is so hard. Not necessarily in terms of the course material and all that…but sitting through something for the second time really makes you feel like you have downs or something. And it doesn’t help when you’re sitting around a bunch of freshmen too. I felt like an old, senile man. Which I guess I am. Blegh.

On the bright side, it’s a really humbling experience? It still really sucks though. Whenever I tell people that I’m repeating two classes for this semester, it makes me want to go bash my head on a wall.

Please stop trying to give me reasons and excuses to justify you not being friends with someone...

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 23:34:00 -0500

Please stop trying to give me reasons and excuses to justify you not being friends with someone anymore.

If you can’t be friends with them, then don’t. There’s no need to try and give me reasons why it would be bad or why it would bring you down, etc…

I can't stop swearing.

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 21:49:00 -0500

Ugh, when did this happen.

I haven’t actually said much out loud, but it’s definitely there.

Everything is such a slippery slope for me. This is why I never want to do anything. And this is why I need to be so careful with what I’m around and what I let influence me. Ughhhhhhhh.

(ノ °益°)ノ ︵ (\﻿ .o.)\

I’m really trying for this test. I’ve been looking at notes, watching videos, and trying...

I hope my friends will tell me if I’m ever complaining about something that was completely my...

Somehow, we’ve shifted from “caring too much about what people think about us” to...

I wish there was a way for me to let everyone know that I was in a bad mood and that they...

Trying.

I felt really lonely tonight. Scrolling down my friends list and realizing that all of the people I...

Hi guys, I'm an adolescent for today.

rant

I'm not noble enough to say that I truly love everyone.

vent vent vent vent

It might be worth it to note...

Pretty girls also make me sad.

Cute girls make me sad.

I wish I could express my advice in a more elaborate way than “grow up”

I think I really pity myself sometimes.

Have you ever gotten to the place where you don't allow yourself to be happy?

Pendulum.

This is so hard.

Please stop trying to give me reasons and excuses to justify you not being friends with someone...

I can't stop swearing.

(ノ °益°)ノ︵ (\ .o.)\